Messy Marvelous – The Blog

  • Year 2021.10: Discouraged? Choose How to Respond
    Last week, I was in the grocery store and found myself quite surprised and feeling discouraged at the number of shoppers without masks—particularly those who were elderly and obviously rather frail. As Covid numbers rise, I am shocked that some people are in denial about the numbers. As a psychologist, I always ask WHY? Why do people behave the ways they do? Why do people think in certain ways? And why do people feel and believe things so powerfully?
  • Be Inspired—The Power of Cracks and Flaws
    Ring the bells you still can ring; forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in. Leonard Cohen A Story About Cracks and Flaws Let me tell you an ancient story about cracks and flaws. It is about a girl whose morning chore was to walk to the … Read more
  • Year 2021.8: Be Inspired–Music
    Have you ever heard a piece of music that made you cry? I find myself completely inspired by music and those who produce it in any way. Music is the universal language. There is not a culture in existence that does not make music in some way.
  • Year 2021: 7 Be Inspired—Re-membering Community Rituals
    In my community we spend most of our time doing three things: preparing for rituals, participating in rituals, and recovering from rituals. —Malidoma Patrice Some’ If you have been my friend, client, or colleague; if you have read either of my books; if you have been close to my extended family; if you have been … Read more
  • Year 2021.6: Be Inspired–Touch
    The pandemic left so many of us hungry for touch. I felt grateful to be partnered during this time yet I still missed long hugs with others—my daughters, my mother, my friends. Post-vaccination, I found myself initially “forgetting” to hug. Or successfully retrained NOT to hug.
  • Year 2021.5: Dump Excess for the Essential
    The best things carried to excess are wrong. –Charles Churchill (18th century satirist) Minimalism is a tool to eliminate life’s excess, focus on the essentials, and find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom. –Joshua Fields Millman (co-founder of the Confession: I might have a shoe problem. It may be just a tiny bit excessive. The good … Read more
  • Year 2021.4: Listen Generously
    I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect with another person is to listen. Just listen. —Rachel Naomi Remen in Kitchen Table Wisdom It is an act of service to listen generously to another human. In the world of spiritual direction, we call this contemplative listening. This is not a passive activity, … Read more
  • Year 2021.3: Claim Your Core Values
    It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are. –Roy E. Disney I stopped living according to my core values. I knew what I was doing was wrong but thought only about myself and thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. –Tiger Woods Core Values Want to choose … Read more
  • Year 2021:2 Fall In Love
    What you are in love with,what seizes your imagination, will affect everything….Fall in Love, stay in love,and it will decide everything.— Fr. Pedro Arrupe The skill of “falling in love” may seem like a weird way to start a new year of blogs. Stay with me for a minute and I think you will understand … Read more
  • Year 2021.1: Learn Your Lessons Well
    In education, we expect our kids to learn by holding on to the lessons as they move forward. To put it more directly, a psychologist from Wyoming once said, “Learn your lessons as they arrive or they will show up in tomorrow morning’s biscuits.” Personally, I would rather make the effort to really integrate these lessons now and take on the hard task of changing my behavior consistently than to relive some of these lessons down the road.
  • Year 2020, Skill #29: Light a Candle
    Light a candle. This year has been a dark one around the world. It should be clear that we are not alone in this struggle during the last 10 months; however, the paradox, of course, is that so many have been alone, felt alone, celebrated alone, struggled alone, or even died alone in 2020. Many … Read more
  • Year 2020, Skill #28: Hope, Actually
    Last week a client came in and reported having some break through anxiety and depression. She was decorating the tree and watching holiday movies with her mom. All was well. Her heart was full. Until it suddenly wasn’t, and she felt “despairing and ungrounded”. She reported a feeling in her chest of physical tightness and … Read more
  • Year 2020, Skill #27: Cancel The Holidays
    Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself. Rumi I’ve decided to cancel Christmas this year. For me, a new level of 2020 reality has finally sunk in. Let me clarify—I can’t cancel the spiritual part of Christmas in my heart but I am … Read more
  • New: 2020 Holiday Cards!
    Looking for the best 2020 holiday cards? Look no further! We are so excited to announce the launch of our 2020 Holiday Cards, the Messy Marvelous Publishing House, and the Messy Marvelous Shop! Cards are available NOW, in two designs: a cheeky, broken-ornament card that gives a nod to the mess that has been 2020, … Read more
  • Year 2020, Skill #26: Admit When Things Are Messy
    I am sorry to say so, but, sadly, it’s true, that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you —Dr. Seuss in Oh, The Places You’ll Go! Okay. Things are really messy here at MessyMarvelous, and we decided to just admit that. Well, maybe not so messy as they are ridiculously busy and challenging. Rhea is … Read more
  • Year 2020, Skill #25: Get In (Good)Trouble
    “The Right Kind of Trouble” By Pete Liggett, Ph.D. Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month, or a year, it is the struggle of a lifetime. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get … Read more
  • Year 2020, Skill # 24: Inhale, Exhale
    To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others. —David Whyte from What To Remember When Waking  Lying facedown on the physical therapist’s table, I winced and curled my toes as he inserted needles down my neck and into my shoulder. I connected to my breath, as … Read more
  • Year 2020, Skill #23: Face Your Fear
    “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”— Franklin D. Roosevelt “To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” — Bertrand Russell Earlier this month, Spanish actress, Paz Vega (Maria de la Paz Campos Trigos) who starred in the movie, Spanglish (among many others), moved back to Spain from the US and granted an interview … Read more
  • Year 2020, Week 21: Mind Your Mental Health
       What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation. —Glenn Close When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. —Fred Rogers If you’re going through hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill Michelle Obama’s podcast went viral this past week when she revealed what I … Read more
  • Series On Hope #1: Defining Hope
    Everything that is done in this world is done by hope. —Martin Luther King May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. —Nelson Mandela O God, let something essential happen to me, something more than interesting, or entertaining, or thoughtful. —Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace Hope —the word—has been thrown around in conversation without … Read more

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